I have to be honest with you.
I still struggle to express myself. Sometimes.
If you don't know my story I grew up painfully shy. Too scared to speak up in class, always the one sitting quiet as a mouse. Even with my good friends I would sit back and let them do the talking. I may have had a knack for picking friends that talked a lot.
Which brought me to a few years ago, when I actually realised how much I wasn't speaking up. How shut down I felt. I mean, I wasn't that painfully shy person at all anymore. Years of working as a Registered Nurse in operating theatre literally forced me to speak up. Being a scrub nurse, if I needed anything thing at all, I couldn't get it for myself, I had to ask my scout nurse to get it for me.
It is interesting looking back though, because I still remember that sometimes I felt that I had done my quota of asking. Even though it was my job!
So yes, even though I have come a long way, I still struggle to express myself in the verbal and written form. I wish I could speak more confidently, I wish I could write with more ease. Even writing blog posts like this, I find super hard when I go to actually write.
But, I know the words are there, because I could be driving in the car, deep in thought and all these profound sentences and paragraphs appear in my mind. I have actually taken the time to pull over and write them down but you know what? They never quite make it to paper as eloquently as they sound in my head. Frustrating!
Anyway, one step at a time, one conversation at a time and one blog post at a time.
But there is light at the end because I am a shadow of who I was five years ago. Oh my gosh, I hardly recognise myself. I have grown through courses, one on one sessions, reading and also studying to be a Creative Arts Therapist.
One part of my process is to get back in tune with my body. I can now actually feel the struggle in my body when I am struggling to express. I get a gripping feeling in my throat, tightness in my chest.
Becoming aware of those feelings, gently feeling and accepting them is part of my daily practice. And it is how I grow, because one of the MOST important things I have now learnt is that a lot of us are disconnected from our bodies, but once we are comfortable to feel what we feel, something energetic happens to us and things start to change.
There is so much power in feeling what we feel.
I have spent the last few years, learning and growing and trying not to be too hard on myself. We all do that right?
I just want to encourage you that no matter where you are in life that there is hope and possibility for you.
We are all way more capable and powerful than we have been led to believe.
I am committed to continuing to do the hard things, and growing and evolving.
As I said, I have done many many courses, ready many many books and had the help of several very wise people.
So I can live freely expressed and enjoy this life I have to the fullest. I know there is more for me (and you too) once the limitations that I put on myself are cleared.
There are so many avenues to growth that are just out of mainstream thinking that can have a huge impact. The good thing is that they are getting more and more well known all the time.
People ask me all the time what I have done, what I have read and what I am learning. So I thought I would list a few of the people that I have learned from that have had a massive impact in my life. Listed in the order that I found them.
Bruce Scott - The Body Magician - an Australian based body worker, who provides a safe place for body awareness and transformation. This is how I first learned how important it was to reconnect with my body.
Joe Dispenza - runs in person workshops and has written several books :
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself | You are the Placebo | Becoming Supernatural
Irene Lyon - Specialises in the nervous system rehabilitation, and runs courses based on Nervous System Repair.
Mastin Kipp - Trauma awareness education - his book Claim Your Power is Brilliant
Teal Swan - a straight shooter with some valuable perspectives. Has some great books - The Connection Process being one of them.
These people are all worth checking out. They may not all resonate with you and that is okay. We all come from different backgrounds and different perspectives and what works for one person might not work for another.
And as always, if you have any questions at all, feel free to message me.
I offer 1 on 1 sessions to help you UNLEASH YOUR CREATIVITY. This is for everyone, not just artists. If you would like to know, more have a look here and get in contact with me if you have any questions.